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Friday, July 29, 2005

http://adoption.about.com/od/birthfirstmothers/a/diarybirthmom.htm

Diary of a Birth Mother
from Terri Rimmer

Moving Out of Gladney
24-Aug-2000
I placed you today. It was the hardest thing I've ever done or will do, I think. Last night another resident and I cried together. Her placement was after mine on the same day. I'm spending the night at my best friend's to get away. I can't stop thinking about you. I wonder what you're doing right now.

25-Aug-2000
I got an email from your AP mom about you telling me how protective your brother is with you. I cried again last night and took something to sleep, reluctantly. Then I had a bunch of dreams about Jon. I'm supposed to meet the birth mom who placed six years ago tomorrow. My best friend said all this has been hard on her, too. I guess I never grieved anything. I always drank, took a pill, had sex, or ran. It's hard not to do those things now.

26-Aug-2000
Last night and this morning I thought about you but didn't cry